Ebony Dragon

Just where I’ve been over the past few months………ok – many months!

Well – let me tell ya… so much has happened – and yet, not too much…………. go figure.

Number 1 son was in summer school – the kind that is FUN – not the kind you go to to make up classes you fail. Yet he did not do well. He could have had a credit and a half towards high school science but, he chose to not go or not really participate and thus, only has 1 credit.

He went back to school in the fall and promptly almost got himself arrested as he obtained a bottle of rum and, well – i guess he was thirsty………….?  He spent the next 6 weeks at his fathers.

It seems that was the one that turned him around however. Since then, he has done well in school, been a HUGE help at home, and completely stunned me. After 5 years of complaining about the dress code in his private school (including cutting his hair), he REQUESTED to go to a private high school!!!!!!!!!!!!! We’ll find out just after Christmas whether he is accepted……………  If he is – you may never see me again as I will need a second job to pay for this! But, I will do so GLADLY!

When Number 1 daughter dropped out of the summer program. I decided, after that, that I did not want to take the risk of paying for a semester or two and find out that she could not or would not stick to it. So, I told her that she would have to get a student loan. If she stayed in school and did what she was capable of – then I would assist her in paying the loan off when it came due…..  And so, she did nothing. And the beginning of school came and went…….. So, she skateboarded and sort of looked for a job but mostly skateboarded thru the last 6 months. She was on her meds, then off her meds, then on them then off them.

On October 4, she was supposed to attend a party (unbeknownst to me, of course). For some reason which we shall never know, she chose not to go. Two of her friends went without her. Now, I should mention that one of these friends is also bi-polar. And typical of people with mental health issues that are old enough to decide for themselves what they want to do but not old enough to make sound judgements, he did not often take his meds either. So – we have TWO bi-polar friends whe go thru manic stages frequently at the same time. This makes for gray hairs for me and VERY BAD hair days for her. And so it goes. The day prior to this party, they had one of their manic days together and so were both angry at each other. He gave in first, called to apologize and she refused to accept the apology – thinking, as many do, that there is always tomorrow.

Well – tomorrow came. Without this friend. The two went to the party – left it with impaired judgement. Neither put on a seatbelt. There was some fog and a slight bit of rain – just enough to bring the oils to the surface ……. Two families and countless friends mourn these two lives lost too soon still…..  And my daughter has spent the time since alternately crying and wearing sackcloth and ashes because she did not accept the apology freely given………. 

Death is hard for anyone to deal with under any conditions. She has been seeing our counselor and is somewhat better – but, I believe that this will take a long time……..

Alrighty. And now I shall get to me and the man. First, let me tell you that work has eaten up an incredible amount of time. They have a policy of allowing time off for extra time worked (hour for hour) BUT – the ‘good’ employees don’t get to take it as it MUST be taken in the pay period accrued. So….wait….lets get this straight – i’m on a hot project that is sucking up my time and i’m working tons of overtime but if i want to take the time for my overtime (because, of course, no one gets PAID) then i have to take away from the time i would normally put in to the project that is sucking up my time which means that i must put in MORE time to make up for the time I took …….  Where does this make sense? OH – right – makes perfect sense for the business that now APPEARS to have ''sympathy’ for the overworked employee because you CAN take time off to compensate for overtime ……. but you really can’t. At least not if you a.) wish to occasionally sleep or b.) do a good job. So, ya – thats work. Work hard and you will get  ahead  to keep your job hmmm….. I don’t know – but work hard anyway.

This would be why I began this sabbatical of mine – disappearing from Spaces. I have been on Facebook – it does not require consistent thought and/or a lot of contiguous time.

So…. when I left, the man was pretty close to the door.

He still is.

BUT – he appears to be walking in the right direction – FOR THE MOMENT.

It took a police escort and a two week stay in a hospital to get him there.

And MONTHS of agony.

and heartache.

and anger.

and occasional bouts of arm waving and dissertations.

and stress-induced eczema everywhere

and finally taking an anti-depressant myself.

and sometimes running away to New Jersey to visit my most wonderful friend – who always opened her arms and heart and home to me.

I haven’t started counting chickens yet – the eggs are still spread across lots of baskets.

Thank you to all my friends who have been supportive and caring and compassionate all these months.

So, first I must tell you all that the few days in New Jersey did me a world of good! More than I could have hoped for! I intend to go back sometime in August for a long weekend. Getting away from even the kids was a very good thing. I guess, sometimes, for ones own sanity, one just needs to be away. The three of us were SOOOOOO ready to get back together when I came home. We were texting each other for my ENTIRE journey home – about 4 hours all totaled. I left South Amboy on the 7:42 train – got in to Penn at 8:40 – and finally home at 12:30am.

The train from Jersey was very fast – which was good. Apparently, a lot of Manhattan people have summer homes on the Jersey shores and take the train home on Sunday night. By the time I got on, it was Standing Room Only – and got worse for the rest of the ride back to Penn – 2 got off, 25 got on…. HOWEVER, I can tell you that, beyond the shadow of any doubt, I would definitely go the train again! Never, ever drive to NJ……. matter of fact, I’m not too sure I want to drive anywhere…..  Leaving the driving to others……   around town is one thing – there is no quicker way to get to the store or doctor. But to travel? I just don’t think I would ever drive again…… And THAT sounds VERY strange coming from the person who used to joyride any and everywhere! But – there it is… train is DEFINITELY the way to go!

I have even done some research and found that there is a train out of Penn for DC – only a 3.5 hour ride at the SLOWEST of times. So, now, I am working on taking the kids to DC – perhaps next winter break. (Requires a little saving as the train alone is about 200$ apiece. Then add meals and hotel and a few days at the Smithsonian to that …… ).

I took some of the most amazing sunset pictures while in New Jersey. With absolutely nothing to do but watch the sun set for an hour and change – i took over 500 pictures!!!!!!!!!  I have posted some here. 

When I finally arrived home, the kids and I spent over an hour together in Teresa’s room just talking about our 3 days apart and then giggling for about a half hour over Teresa playing with Koosh Koosh. (He really is a character – he sounds like a cross between a turkey gobbling and a tribble!) Liddle Kiddle and Koosh have become playmates – yesterday, we found them in a Mountain Dew box together!

Ah – yes, and mom bought herself a treat before she left – an iPhone. And OMYGOSH I AM IN LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am having sooo much fun with this thing! I am a convert. I don’t think I would EVER go back to having just a phone………. next year, when I renew the kids phones, THEY are getting iPhones! These things are just AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! And all the apps for them! WOW! Just the running conversations alone are worth the price! No going back and forth between Inbox and Sent messages…. And the weather and checking my email and facebook and  and and …………..  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So…. rewind a bit………

In April or so – Number 1 daughter was doing EXCELLENT in school – so well, in fact (High Honors), that she was put on standby for the Bermuda trip. The school selects 24 juniors and seniors to go to BIOS (Bermuda Institute of Ocean Sciences). They spend a week there sailing and snorkeling……..  the school keeps them so busy they literally fall down at night…  Well, turns out that she got to go – and at 4am one cool May morning – I cried as my baby boarded a school bus bound for Kennedy Airport……  Knowing all the teachers and trusting them is, of course, a very GOOD thing! Parents were told by the teachers that went that “No news is good news” – and there would be very little if any communication from Bermuda as the telephone rates are VERY high. And they are! Our ‘wireless plans’ do NOT cover calls/texts FROM Bermuda… 1.99 a minute and .50 per text. So, I did get some texts from her while she was there but not many….  She came home a week later tan (despite the SPF70 that she slathered on!) and beautiful! (Yes, ok, I’m biased!). They had done cave diving and night diving and exploring coves and all sorts of things….. She told me of swimming in water so clear one could see the coral at the bottom many feet from the surface. She told me of swimming with the barracuda and sharks – and other fish so colorful they were amazing to behold…. She told me of the night diving – and meeting up with the ‘porcupines of the sea’ – little needlefish – who are night swimmers – but LOVE LIGHT……… and they are FAST! so………… one really has to be very alert because these little guys come from out of nowhere at a zillion miles an hour and fly right into your dive light… or you if you happen to be in the way – and they do HURT! She also told me of attempting to control the man-o-war population! Apparently, only the tentacles (all 30 feet of them) sting… so, out my brave child would walk and stand on a rock in the ocean waiting for these hapless critters to float by and snag them two at a time by their jelly like heads and drag them – with all 30 feet of tentacles up on the beach……  One might almost feel sorry for them……….  NOT!

And then the trouble started………. she chose to stop taking her medication… “I don’t want to get addicted” she said………. Of course, addiction means different things to different people. Some believe that if you have issues with addiction, that you can not take even so much as an aspirin………  this is the current theory my child is ascribing to…. with some support from peers and teachers. Of course, her grades suffered. She did graduate – and her last semester and finals were ok – but, she did not make honors…

Since she is bi-polar and not medicated, of course, she has thrown some ENORMOUS temper tantrums……. these did not help ANYONE! And watching my kid walk out the door threatening to go places where no pretty girl should be and knowing there is (since she is 18 in a month) absolutely nothing that i can do about it……….. is heartbreaking at best.

She has settled down somewhat over the course of the last two weeks and is currently in another most wonderful program. It is called ‘Transitions’. It is a summer session at the local community college – it is FREE. When she is done, she will have 9 college credits – three each in English, Web Design, and some communications/journalism thing  (she was at the beach taking pictures with a camcorder on Friday – class assignment.) She is doing VERY well with that. So far.

Sidebar – twice her father (and his new wife) have gotten together with me for functions for the kids – and BOTH times – HE has taken ME (and the kids) to dinner! I am completely amazed……….

Now – lets see – Number 1 son. Well, after his escapade in March with the depressants – I got him into counseling. We found that he has this periodic depression thing going on – I can’t remember the name of it at the moment. He does not need an antidepressant – as it is only occasional. What he needed was the coping skills. He began counseling – and has learned that. At the moment, he is doing fairly well. It was a tough few weeks for him in June. If you remember, he repeated 7th grade. And in June, all the kids he had gone all the way thru school from pre-k thru 7th graduated. My brave boy went to their graduation. He felt a loyalty to his ex-classmates…… it bothered him terribly. And yet, with a little but of love - (mom hugs), he did ok. He talked about it a bit to me – Quite a bit… which is good.

We have found with him that emotions are the biggest trigger of his asthma – no surprise for me. (I always had my worst asthma attacks at Halloween and Christmas – two of the most exciting times for kids!).

My son has turned into my rock – and I his. We have grown very close – part of that was the counseling – but, most of it was just circumstances….   He has been my best companion lately. I have taken him a few places with me (like New York a few times) just because he enjoys the the things I do…. the photography and walking and exploring.  And because we can talk – and do – a lot. I think he is rather mature for his age…. and that is pretty amazing considering that generally speaking, girls mature faster than boys… I think (yes, I am biased) that he is more mature than most girls his age……..  He is the one who worked out the date mentioned in the prior post with me. And when I was at my most frazzled  - he came to me out of the blue – and said, ‘Mom, now and again – everyone needs a hug – and right now – you need one bad!” and proceeded to give me the very biggest hug!!!!!!!!! And he was right……. but, that he, a 14 year old boy – actually NOTICED – thats pretty amazing…

So… the other thing that is making me frazzled……………. work.

I have been averaging 12-14 hour days. And I’ve been averaging this 18+ days straight as we have been working many weekends this year on a project which will, thankfully, complete in August. When I moved over to the new company, their arrangement of functionality is very different from what my prior company had been. And I had been with the prior company for 32 years – a very long time…. So, you know how that ‘teach an old dog new tricks’ thing goes………..  Well, I’m not quite sure how it happened, but I kind of became the ‘answer grape’ – and when one is an ‘answer grape’ and knows absolutely nothing…………… um, its a bit stressful. And we had some leadership but…  more project by project rather than one person disseminating the projects based on skills and ability and availability. It sort of fell to me to try to keep things together. And I am NOT ‘lead’ material – I am a technician. Its what I like and what I do….  and where I wish to grow. But, circumstances being what they were, well, – ya do what ya gotta do………..  So, I did. Which ended up frazzling me even more. Matter of fact, I came very very close to walking out and not coming back. Actually – I did leave early. (but went back the next day.) Like I said, I am NOT ‘leadership’ material… and at this point in my life, I have no desire to learn! All that ‘political’ crap…………. UGH! So, I had to make some changes there.  And they made a change too – by finally putting a team lead in place. A move for which I am VERY VERY grateful.  It is a struggle to go from 14 hour days down to 8 or 10, but I am determined……….

I have spent time with my parents over the last three weeks – particularly with mom – always a good thing. Mom, in fact, was the biggest voice of reason. I have given in to the medication thing and accepted that maybe, for awhile, its not a bad thing… I had a bout with eczema – something that is often triggered by stress. It covered most of me except for my face. If that was not a clear indication that I needed help – nothing ever would be. Then getting away – that was the best.

Of course, just as I was leaving – SOMEONE made a last ditch effort to keep me home – because, of course, its all about him….  he still does nothing to help himself. Insists that everything is physical – but does nothing about that. And will not seek emotional help. A friend of his visited with my help and tried to help him get his act together……… still nothing. And yet, just a few short weeks ago, he was able to work with the local government and straighten out a car SNAFU…. so, he IS capable. And CHOOSING not to……

This is the worst relationship I have ever been in. Even the x was capable of helping out in some ways – very creative. Lazy – but creative – and could – and would – do anything with his hands. When he was in the mood. This one does nothing…….. Absolutely nothing… oops… wait. He will take the trash around front once a week………… and even that is difficult.  Everything else I could deal with….. work, the kids, the house……….  I am a fairly strong person and I’ve managed to weather some pretty hefty storms. But, this is just too much……….  

I am a happy person generally. I love life. I enjoy each day. Yep there are bad days – even ones that SUCK. And ones kids will definitely try ones patience – that IS, of course, their JOB!  LOL… I will get through this. And I will come out better for it. Stronger. and wiser… definitely wiser…

To all who have supported me through the last few years – a big thank you!

Again!

HUGS

Dragon

                     MEET

Koosh Koosh

The newest addition to the clan… and the ONLY boy-baby!

NOT as innocent or as cute as he looks – FULLY capable (at a mere 8 weeks) of standing up to fully grown females more than 10X his size and raking his claws thru hundreds of layers of skin to achieve whatever heights on a human he is currently enamored of!

This morning was a very important day for LiddleKiddleKat. She went to the mobile vet clinic to be spayed. Another plug – in Connecticut we have a mobile neuter/spay clinic for kitties run by a group known as Team. They are funded in part by the fee paid by patrons. However, their primary source of funds comes from a trust. They do a most phenomenal job at what they do. You can read more about this very special organization here.

But, I digress…… It was a very drizzly, cold, miserable day. I stood in line outside the Team van with several other soggy, wet, and very nervous kitty parents waiting my turn to register my little beast for her surgery. As animal parents do, we all chatted about our loving little ones – most are “rescue” animals. In this manner, the time passed much more pleasantly than it might have otherwise. And of course, we praised each others “kids” and billed and coo'-ed over how precious and lovely each was!

Too soon, it was my turn. I left the poor, confused little girl and went about my day. I was to pick her up between 3:30 and 4 that afternoon. At 3:30, I hurried back and took my place in line. I ran a bit late so did not see any of my friends from the morning. When I got in this line, I was about 3 from the door. In front of the door was a trap waiting a feral feline with a can of food. Just before it came to be my turn, a woman got in line behind me. Again, as parents are wont to do, we began a discussion… and I found out that this woman had been feeding feral cats where she worked for about 30 years. She did this for 20+ years before she realized the population had grown monstrously and uncontrollably. And she began, at her own expense, to trap them one by one and have them neutered. Over the last few years, she has gotten almost all of them in the area. As they are neutered/spayed, the top of one ear is clipped so anyone coming behind will know that that animal has already been cared for. She has done this alone and with no help from any organization or people. She has done this out of her own love for cats. She has also taken many of these animals in. Currently, there are 7 in residence with her.  How wonderful a thing for someone to think to do!

On a slightly different note……  I have noticed recently that when I have gone to fast food places, the staff seems to be cheerful. This is strange.

I have seen OVERLY cheerful… which is usually the result of some corporate idiot trying to make pleasant robots out of people – the end result of which is, at least for me, abject disgust. I much prefer to have a person speak to me as they would as opposed to reading from or having memorized some polite script.

This is different….. this is HONESTLY cheerful.

Has anyone else noticed this? Or is it perhaps just me?

that things were getting better……… Give ya a hint….if you are reading this hoping for a happy post, stop here. LEAVE. Fly away! Do NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one is anything but amusing.

Lets start back in …..um, say – October. Or maybe September…. yes, right around that time, the stock market really started to gain steam in its downhill roll…. Well, the mans world came tumbling down – literally. The retirement he worked many years for is now gone. No… not in stocks that tanked but might come back again – really gone. In December, he found another job and worked there about 3 weeks. Lets just say that the company and the man mutually agreed that they were not suited to each other. Since then, his emotional status – and its accompanying mental status – have gone directly downhill…  there was a short stop on the downhill spiral in January with a therapist and a psychiatrist but, one cannot be helped if they do not want the help. Around the same time, he began to feel he had some physical issues. He ceased to eat, fearing that if he ate – well…….. I won’t go into detail here. He lost around 35 lbs in 6 weeks. And – no, it really wasn’t anything else – you see – he never left the house. Not ever.  He had many tests – the physicians have spoken to me and assured me that everything is fine – they no longer wish to talk to him. He no longer goes out. He no longer picks up the phone to talk to anyone. He occasionally talks to himself. However, if he chooses to talk, he is completely lucid and intelligent. This, my friends, is unchecked depression. He sits all day and does absolutely nothing. I would have a very hard time imagining that except that I live with it. He is never far from my side for very long. And when he is here, he is not. He knows better than anyone what the floor, the walls and the ceiling look like. He stares at them all day. This has dragged on now for 3 months. It has been three very very long months. At first I encouraged and cajoled….. then I got angry – almost rude.  Now, I act like he is not in the house…… I do what I must here, but then I leave. There are few days that I stay home when I am not working…… I can’t. It is far too depressing.

Somewhere near the end of March, the fun started. Towards the end I think……….  I saw my son off to his fathers. His father was not happy because the girl-child insisted on staying home – at this point, I can’t remember why. Boy child really did not want to go either. He was depressed and unhappy. He began texting me around 5 minutes after they left. I kept up a steady dialog with him till I fell asleep. Saturday night, he began to text me again – this time telling me that he was having difficulty breathing. Not being there, I asked him a few pertinent questions which he answered. Of course, being a bit distracted by work and this person next to me intent on memorizing every ridge in the floor – I completely forgot that this is the child who DOWNPLAYS everything…. and that one usually needs to take his answers and double them to get the truth. But, he told me he would be ok…  And I (foolishly) thought that I could trust the father – who is also an asthmatic – to know when there was a REAL problem. Sunday, number 1 son texts me again – and says “I need a breathing treatment right now”. And the alarm bells went off. I called the pediatrician who told us to go to the Childrens Hospital – which we did.

Upon arriving there, I could find no place to park – so I pulled into the semi-circle in front of the actual hospital, grabbed my son and began walking in the door. A man who did not speak English well – but worked for the Parking concession – came at me talking and pointing – and I immediately began to YELL (yes – really – YELL!) back at him that I was LEAVING my DAMN car RIGHT where it was because my son NEEDED EMERGENCY CARE NOW!!!!!!!!!!! and……..then….it dawned on me what this poor man was trying to tell me…. I have since apologized to him SEVERAL times!!!!!! And I bless him for his kindness and his patience with an ornery mother. He was trying to tell me that the EMERGENCY room was in the OPPOSITE direction from the one I was dragging my son!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I am going to stop here for a “plug” of sorts. I spent a LOT of time at this hospital as a child…. and some more as a volunteer and have avoided being on the wrong side of the needle (so to speak) all my adult life because I felt that the care all those years ago was not what it should be. I must step right up to the plate and tell you that I would not want my child ANYWHERE else! Yale Children’s Hospital in New Haven was just AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! We walked into the ER – the guard directed us to Triage – I said two words, “Asthma Attack” and from that point on, the staff was just completely amazing! The triage nurse was triaging him and getting him set up with the first treatment and a room at the same time. He was not in that ER 3 minutes and they had the first of 3 breathing treatments going. Each one was done at the appropriate time. We saw two doctors and several nurses inside of 3 hours – and he was admitted and in his room within 5. The staff doctors were in the room taking history and discussing treatment with us 15 minutes from our arrival. The healthcare decisions were made by a TEAM that included the respiratory therapist. Nurses and nursing assistants were in and out – constantly. AND – my BIG thing – there was a daybed and linens there – FOR ME! They actually EXPECT a parent to stay with their child! AND Parents and grandparents are WELCOME 24 X 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My son was also happy – very happy – that I was with him all the time!. Well….except for those times he kicked me out so he could take care of some personal matters……. he was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and an IV so he could not use the facilities. 

The floor he was on had a parents room complete with a computer – WITH internet access, a refrigerator, coffee maker, couch, table, piano, and all the coffee-tea-sugar-cups kind of stuff you could want.  The play area for the kids was HUGE and included a large craft area and drawing table. There was also an outdoor rooftop play area – with a plexiglass wall that was curved inward – so it could NOT be climbed over. There were two small libraries – one for the pre-school set and one for the school-age set with clearly marked groupings of books (by age).  This was NOTHING like the hospital I had been in 40 years ago!!!!!!!!! I realize everyone has bad days but – apparently – they did NOT have them while we were there because everyone was very kind and cheerful! My son was there two days – discharged on Tuesday afternoon…. He began his spring vacation that Thursday – so I kept him home Weds and Thurs.

While I am giving out accolades – I must also give kudos to my temporary interim team lead. I sincerely wish that he was not temporary! I explained that I had to leave Sunday and why – and he just about shooed me out. I also got steady texts from him asking about my son and how he was. Not ONCE did he ever ask one work related question or bring up any issues – all were handled.  For the moment at least, I am lucky in this respect.

Now… I must go back to the first day – Monday. I came home for a short bit. I thought that I would take a quick shower, take my daughter to school, and then go back to the hospital…. I came home, after calling the school and letting them know what was going on, I turned on my work machine to put an away message on my email. The man is on the bed counting holes in the popcorned ceiling. He says to me, ‘What can I do to help?” And (stupidly) I think – “Oh..this is good”. So, I say, “Well, nothing much really – if you just stay on top of the dishes, maybe finish up the 2 loads of clothes in the washer and dryer, and feed the animals – that is all that needs doing.” From the bed comes the response, “I don’t think I can manage this whole house by myself.”  Now, I’m not sure how washing a few knives, forks, spoons and bowls, doing 2 loads of clothes and feeding 6 animals became “MANAGING” an “ENTIRE” house…… but, i bit my tongue and went downstairs. He followed. As I am DOING THE DISHES, he looks at the cat food cans on the counter and says, “Ther isn’t much cat food.” there is smoke coming out of my ears and my tongue is now bleeding…….  then he opens the refrigerator and, looking at 2 large cartons of lactaid, a meat keeper full of lunch meats and cheeses, and leftovers from the last two nights dinners,  says, “There is no food in the house”. I left. I RAN out the house………. RAN. Ranting and raving and hitting the roof of my poor car… And bought cat food enough to last the week, several drinks, and tv dinners. Got home, unpacked, finished the dishes, finished the laundry, fed the cats, fed the rabbit, cleaned the cat boxes and the rabbit cage, took my daughter to school, took a shower and SLAMMED THE DOOR………….. 

Now, you would think this would be enough…………. but, no – there is more……..

On Sunday night, the father comes up to see number one son – and wait for his girlfriend to get off work.  And I happen to see a gold band on the 3rd finger left hand………so, of course I ask, “Is that a wedding band? Did you get married?” He says, “Uh, er. ah..han .heowir. ring. no – found it, ah. no, ah uh- its a – its johns ring – yeah he gave it to me”. Uh huh ……… right……..  Well, the grilfriend works nearby…. so, she stopped up to see number one son… and I happen to notice a HUGE, BEAUTIFUL wedding band, engagement ring combination on her finger…………. 3rd finger left hand. Um….  I did not fall off a turnip truck and I do math VERY well… 1 + 1 ALWAYS equals 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, I start texting number 1 daughter and talking to number 1 son…. Well – yes, they ARE married. and they went to Florida to be with her family to have the wedding and NEITHER CHILD WAS EVEN SO MUCH AS TOLD – nevermind ASKED for their opinion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being not stupid children, of course, they figured it out. But, neither she nor he every actually TOLD them…….

So, then comes Friday. And number one son, now breathing much better,  is wandering from house to house with friends… Number 1 daughter goes to a concert with friends. And the man – MIRACULOUSLY – decides to go with some friends. The sun is setting and I hear a very noisy car pull up in front of my house…….. and then I hear my name called………. I go down the stairs and find my barely-headed son, very obviously on some sort of depressant or two or three, with a friends father. Who explained to me all that he saw and knew. It was not pretty. I spent a few hours walking my son around and keeping him talking – despite his protests – and walking – also despite his protests… And finally poured him into bed around 1am… and was up checking on him several times…….. He slept that night – and most of the next day and night……. finally awakening Sunday morning  - waking just in time to go to Nonnies house for Easter. Needless to say – he is grounded for the foreseeable future. If keeping him close is the only way that I can keep him safe, then close it will be!

Even my mother said to me the other day that she did not need to watch soap operas – all she needed was to catch up on my life!

Sadly, she is right……..

I stayed home and cleaned……  while the man watched… or stared at the floor………….

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Since I bought my camera almost a year ago, I have been just dying to take it into Manhattan and wander around taking shots all day but between work and the demands of home, till now, I just have had no opportunity.

Well, this weekend, opportunity came POUNDING on my door! It was warm and sunny. I was not on call, not anyones backup on call, and no work. Sunday dawned and I charged up both batteries, cleaned up all the lenses and filters, tried to compact everything I would need into one backpack style pocketbook, two jeans pockets, and one lens carrier - canister style. Out the door by 10:30 and got behind one of those "Sunday drivers" - on SUNDAY of all days - gee.........whoda thunk? :D Missed the 10:42 but caught the 11:05 and got into the city shortly after 1pm.  Train was crowded..... even on Sunday. I always take the train 1 stop out of its starting station because the town is much safer to come back into after dark - especially if I am alone  - than New Haven.

So.... I started out in Grand Central. Now - the first time I saw Grand Central Station was in 1977 - and she was ANYTHING but "Grand". Soot stained the ceilings and windows pitch black. In the center, was a Chemical Bank - quite a big bank in New York at that time. This was the upper level. The lower level had only The Oyster Bar and an ENORMOUS, cavernous, dimly lit room with the train track entries off to one side..... much was gated off and locked and far from safe. Mostly, one prayed ones train came in and left from the upper level. The exit doors then had the beetle-wing varnish darkened from age and smoke. You see, when Grand Central Station was originally built, the trains that came in and out of it were coal-and steam fired. Thus the smoke....... and the coal residue which was over much of the station. In addition, cigarette smoking was very common and popular in the stations heyday in the 1930's thru the 1950's - this added tar and nicotine to the dark staining of the ceiling and walls. In one of our first excursions to Manhattan in our days as friends, the man and I had the fortune to meet a gentleman who was involved in the restoration of the station that took place in the early to mid-1990's. Jacqueline Kennedy-Onassis was heavily involved in first the fight to save the station and then to restore it. She was instrumental in finding the marble that exactly matched the original marble in order to build the staircase (where the original Chemical Bank stood) to the lower level. I wish that i had taken pictures during the 70's and early 80's so that I could produce "before" and "after" - but, alas - hindsight is always 20-20.

Here are some pictures to show you what Grand Central Terminal looks like today:

And now...........let me take you through Manhattan....

First, I stepped outside of Grand Central and looked up and down 42nd street....and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a store - and I would just bet it belongs to the family of Stuart Little. What do you think?

Up 42nd street to I went. And then down 5th towards Central Park.

I took a few detours..... first, to the clocks just got me.

And then I went by and stopped to wonder about this piece of art? I continued on for a bit but then decided that I needed to take a tour of and maybe start Puttin on .

And this, my friends, is how the OTHER HALF lives: Nope.......no kiddin! This is fer real.... right next to

.  No surprises there...

So.....lets talk about art.............. Ok, we're done now.

Trees will grow almost anywhere...........

And friends can be found in the darndest places:

The friends I went looking for, however - were not the ones I found. I did finally find their nest:  

Well, since I'm down this way, guess wandering thru Central Park is a must....so I did.

Well, its getting kinda late so, I'm thinkin I should be heading up 5th and back towards Grand Central and the train home....so, I get a moving -  but I just couldn't resist a stop down this side street: and then a trip thru . While I was making my way a little further up the road, I happened to run into and and - the BEST OF ALL . Of course, what would New York be without a little New York sarcasm... !

Now...one more store for ya... the only one I took a LOT of pictures of:

and here is why:

And of course, what would a trip to the Big Apple be without an

or another self-portrait or a moment of insanity: yep - i did take this one from the MIDDLE of the road and if you've ever been to New York, you will know that the color of the light makes absolutely NO difference to the traffic........

Hope you enjoyed this little sojourn with me. If you'd care for more, the rest of the pictures are posted here: www.flickr.com/photos/ebonywyverndragon

Catch ya next time!

Roaming Dragon