I have chosen the category 'Memories' for this post as I am in the process of making them.

 

I hit the wall a few weeks ago... just completely hit the wall. Face press... splat.

More pressure... more stress than I could handle. I could no longer laugh at myself - at my mistakes - at anything.

I have a very dear friend in New Jerseywhom I have not been able to see in years. She is recovering from a few things - not the least of which was agoraphobia brought on by significant physical issues. She has struggled alone keeping her chin up and doing the best she can - a courageous lady to say the least. Between this and my own issues, and the distance between us, we communicate but....... thats it.

 

When I hit that wall, she had sent me a loving email to which i responded with some of what had been going on. She urged me to get away for a bit...  offering her home as that getaway. With my therapists urging, I decided to go - shedding all the weights which had rested on my shoulders for so long.

I ensured my kids safety and the cats, let my parents know where I would be - packed Thursday and left.

 

Just before I left, I informed the man about what i was doing. His response, "I know you have some issues but this is the worst time in my life for you to leave." Proving once again that life, of course, is all about him. WE are only talkin 3 days here.... not a lifetime. Although, leaving for a lifetime is under serious consideration...... OH - I suppose I sound a bit cruel..... well - let me tell you that he was fully capable just 2 weeks ago of wading thru and untangling a motor vehicles snafu. Anyone who has ever had the delightful experience of dealing with CT DMV will understand that one must have their wits about them and patience of a saint and a myriad of other qualities in order to successfully navigate this group.... And he did. Yet this same person cannot (will not) make a doctors appointment, will not make a psychiatrist/psychologist/msw appt.....  He is CHOOSING to do nothing to help himself. I cannot (and will not) help someone who refuses toi help themselves. But, I digress.....

 

So, I packed my camera and peripherals, some clothes and hopped the metro north into GCT, strolled to Penn Sta and picked up the South Amboy train and my friend picked me up at the station. 

 

That first night, she made pasta and chicken parm and had bought an ice cream cake which we shared with tea and conversation till 2am.. I sank into a bed for the first time in months and was asleep in seconds...  Mostly we hung around the next day till mid-afternoon. Then she drove us to the Jersey shore where we sat at Donovans munching sweet potato fries and sipping icey cold water still talking... watching the clouds paint pictures in the sky and the surf occasionally pommel the sand -  I snapped pictures like a wild woman - this place looks much like - well, the tropics - with palm trees - yes - REAL palm trees! Then she took me to another spot where I could see the Verrenzano-Narrows bridge to my left - and we stood there the two of us watching the sun set....  I snapped over 500 pictures of just that one sunset.... Many I cannot WAIT to unload and post! We stood for almost an hour watching, what to me, was the most beautiful sunset I have seen.... because that is ALL I did.... and it was ALL I thought about... just that sunset.

 

We grocery shopped at 11:30, made grilled cheese sandwiches and again went to bed at 2.... I woke at 7... texted the kids - and went RIGHT BACK TO BED and slept till 10:30!!!!!

 

Today, we are making a turkey with stuffing and mashed potatos and spinach. We have been working on that most of the day - listening to tunes, talking, and more or less doing our own thing.... I on my computer, she on hers.

We have the windows all open here with the breeze chasing the sun through the apartment.

I have fallen in love with her cats - Martini Lee and Autum Marie - and they with me - I shall post their pictures upon my return.

 

Tonite, we shall have our Thanksgiving dinner in front of her lit Christmas tree and we shall watch the New York fireworks on the TV...

 

For just these three days, I have no worries, no pressure, no stress.... no kids. no man. no house. no bills. no work.

I am infinitely thankful that I have a wonderful friend such as this who opened her home to me who has done all in her power to ensure that i am cared for.... sheltered. safe....

 

Tomorrow night, I will return to the insanity.... but, that is tomorrow night.

Tonite we celebrate!

 

Vacationing

Dragon