that things were getting better……… Give ya a hint….if you are reading this hoping for a happy post, stop here. LEAVE. Fly away! Do NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one is anything but amusing.

Lets start back in …..um, say – October. Or maybe September…. yes, right around that time, the stock market really started to gain steam in its downhill roll…. Well, the mans world came tumbling down – literally. The retirement he worked many years for is now gone. No… not in stocks that tanked but might come back again – really gone. In December, he found another job and worked there about 3 weeks. Lets just say that the company and the man mutually agreed that they were not suited to each other. Since then, his emotional status – and its accompanying mental status – have gone directly downhill…  there was a short stop on the downhill spiral in January with a therapist and a psychiatrist but, one cannot be helped if they do not want the help. Around the same time, he began to feel he had some physical issues. He ceased to eat, fearing that if he ate – well…….. I won’t go into detail here. He lost around 35 lbs in 6 weeks. And – no, it really wasn’t anything else – you see – he never left the house. Not ever.  He had many tests – the physicians have spoken to me and assured me that everything is fine – they no longer wish to talk to him. He no longer goes out. He no longer picks up the phone to talk to anyone. He occasionally talks to himself. However, if he chooses to talk, he is completely lucid and intelligent. This, my friends, is unchecked depression. He sits all day and does absolutely nothing. I would have a very hard time imagining that except that I live with it. He is never far from my side for very long. And when he is here, he is not. He knows better than anyone what the floor, the walls and the ceiling look like. He stares at them all day. This has dragged on now for 3 months. It has been three very very long months. At first I encouraged and cajoled….. then I got angry – almost rude.  Now, I act like he is not in the house…… I do what I must here, but then I leave. There are few days that I stay home when I am not working…… I can’t. It is far too depressing.

Somewhere near the end of March, the fun started. Towards the end I think……….  I saw my son off to his fathers. His father was not happy because the girl-child insisted on staying home – at this point, I can’t remember why. Boy child really did not want to go either. He was depressed and unhappy. He began texting me around 5 minutes after they left. I kept up a steady dialog with him till I fell asleep. Saturday night, he began to text me again – this time telling me that he was having difficulty breathing. Not being there, I asked him a few pertinent questions which he answered. Of course, being a bit distracted by work and this person next to me intent on memorizing every ridge in the floor – I completely forgot that this is the child who DOWNPLAYS everything…. and that one usually needs to take his answers and double them to get the truth. But, he told me he would be ok…  And I (foolishly) thought that I could trust the father – who is also an asthmatic – to know when there was a REAL problem. Sunday, number 1 son texts me again – and says “I need a breathing treatment right now”. And the alarm bells went off. I called the pediatrician who told us to go to the Childrens Hospital – which we did.

Upon arriving there, I could find no place to park – so I pulled into the semi-circle in front of the actual hospital, grabbed my son and began walking in the door. A man who did not speak English well – but worked for the Parking concession – came at me talking and pointing – and I immediately began to YELL (yes – really – YELL!) back at him that I was LEAVING my DAMN car RIGHT where it was because my son NEEDED EMERGENCY CARE NOW!!!!!!!!!!! and……..then….it dawned on me what this poor man was trying to tell me…. I have since apologized to him SEVERAL times!!!!!! And I bless him for his kindness and his patience with an ornery mother. He was trying to tell me that the EMERGENCY room was in the OPPOSITE direction from the one I was dragging my son!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I am going to stop here for a “plug” of sorts. I spent a LOT of time at this hospital as a child…. and some more as a volunteer and have avoided being on the wrong side of the needle (so to speak) all my adult life because I felt that the care all those years ago was not what it should be. I must step right up to the plate and tell you that I would not want my child ANYWHERE else! Yale Children’s Hospital in New Haven was just AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! We walked into the ER – the guard directed us to Triage – I said two words, “Asthma Attack” and from that point on, the staff was just completely amazing! The triage nurse was triaging him and getting him set up with the first treatment and a room at the same time. He was not in that ER 3 minutes and they had the first of 3 breathing treatments going. Each one was done at the appropriate time. We saw two doctors and several nurses inside of 3 hours – and he was admitted and in his room within 5. The staff doctors were in the room taking history and discussing treatment with us 15 minutes from our arrival. The healthcare decisions were made by a TEAM that included the respiratory therapist. Nurses and nursing assistants were in and out – constantly. AND – my BIG thing – there was a daybed and linens there – FOR ME! They actually EXPECT a parent to stay with their child! AND Parents and grandparents are WELCOME 24 X 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My son was also happy – very happy – that I was with him all the time!. Well….except for those times he kicked me out so he could take care of some personal matters……. he was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and an IV so he could not use the facilities. 

The floor he was on had a parents room complete with a computer – WITH internet access, a refrigerator, coffee maker, couch, table, piano, and all the coffee-tea-sugar-cups kind of stuff you could want.  The play area for the kids was HUGE and included a large craft area and drawing table. There was also an outdoor rooftop play area – with a plexiglass wall that was curved inward – so it could NOT be climbed over. There were two small libraries – one for the pre-school set and one for the school-age set with clearly marked groupings of books (by age).  This was NOTHING like the hospital I had been in 40 years ago!!!!!!!!! I realize everyone has bad days but – apparently – they did NOT have them while we were there because everyone was very kind and cheerful! My son was there two days – discharged on Tuesday afternoon…. He began his spring vacation that Thursday – so I kept him home Weds and Thurs.

While I am giving out accolades – I must also give kudos to my temporary interim team lead. I sincerely wish that he was not temporary! I explained that I had to leave Sunday and why – and he just about shooed me out. I also got steady texts from him asking about my son and how he was. Not ONCE did he ever ask one work related question or bring up any issues – all were handled.  For the moment at least, I am lucky in this respect.

Now… I must go back to the first day – Monday. I came home for a short bit. I thought that I would take a quick shower, take my daughter to school, and then go back to the hospital…. I came home, after calling the school and letting them know what was going on, I turned on my work machine to put an away message on my email. The man is on the bed counting holes in the popcorned ceiling. He says to me, ‘What can I do to help?” And (stupidly) I think – “Oh..this is good”. So, I say, “Well, nothing much really – if you just stay on top of the dishes, maybe finish up the 2 loads of clothes in the washer and dryer, and feed the animals – that is all that needs doing.” From the bed comes the response, “I don’t think I can manage this whole house by myself.”  Now, I’m not sure how washing a few knives, forks, spoons and bowls, doing 2 loads of clothes and feeding 6 animals became “MANAGING” an “ENTIRE” house…… but, i bit my tongue and went downstairs. He followed. As I am DOING THE DISHES, he looks at the cat food cans on the counter and says, “Ther isn’t much cat food.” there is smoke coming out of my ears and my tongue is now bleeding…….  then he opens the refrigerator and, looking at 2 large cartons of lactaid, a meat keeper full of lunch meats and cheeses, and leftovers from the last two nights dinners,  says, “There is no food in the house”. I left. I RAN out the house………. RAN. Ranting and raving and hitting the roof of my poor car… And bought cat food enough to last the week, several drinks, and tv dinners. Got home, unpacked, finished the dishes, finished the laundry, fed the cats, fed the rabbit, cleaned the cat boxes and the rabbit cage, took my daughter to school, took a shower and SLAMMED THE DOOR………….. 

Now, you would think this would be enough…………. but, no – there is more……..

On Sunday night, the father comes up to see number one son – and wait for his girlfriend to get off work.  And I happen to see a gold band on the 3rd finger left hand………so, of course I ask, “Is that a wedding band? Did you get married?” He says, “Uh, er. ah..han .heowir. ring. no – found it, ah. no, ah uh- its a – its johns ring – yeah he gave it to me”. Uh huh ……… right……..  Well, the grilfriend works nearby…. so, she stopped up to see number one son… and I happen to notice a HUGE, BEAUTIFUL wedding band, engagement ring combination on her finger…………. 3rd finger left hand. Um….  I did not fall off a turnip truck and I do math VERY well… 1 + 1 ALWAYS equals 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, I start texting number 1 daughter and talking to number 1 son…. Well – yes, they ARE married. and they went to Florida to be with her family to have the wedding and NEITHER CHILD WAS EVEN SO MUCH AS TOLD – nevermind ASKED for their opinion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being not stupid children, of course, they figured it out. But, neither she nor he every actually TOLD them…….

So, then comes Friday. And number one son, now breathing much better,  is wandering from house to house with friends… Number 1 daughter goes to a concert with friends. And the man – MIRACULOUSLY – decides to go with some friends. The sun is setting and I hear a very noisy car pull up in front of my house…….. and then I hear my name called………. I go down the stairs and find my barely-headed son, very obviously on some sort of depressant or two or three, with a friends father. Who explained to me all that he saw and knew. It was not pretty. I spent a few hours walking my son around and keeping him talking – despite his protests – and walking – also despite his protests… And finally poured him into bed around 1am… and was up checking on him several times…….. He slept that night – and most of the next day and night……. finally awakening Sunday morning  - waking just in time to go to Nonnies house for Easter. Needless to say – he is grounded for the foreseeable future. If keeping him close is the only way that I can keep him safe, then close it will be!

Even my mother said to me the other day that she did not need to watch soap operas – all she needed was to catch up on my life!

Sadly, she is right……..

I stayed home and cleaned……  while the man watched… or stared at the floor………….