MEET

Koosh Koosh

The newest addition to the clan… and the ONLY boy-baby!

NOT as innocent or as cute as he looks – FULLY capable (at a mere 8 weeks) of standing up to fully grown females more than 10X his size and raking his claws thru hundreds of layers of skin to achieve whatever heights on a human he is currently enamored of!

This morning was a very important day for LiddleKiddleKat. She went to the mobile vet clinic to be spayed. Another plug – in Connecticut we have a mobile neuter/spay clinic for kitties run by a group known as Team. They are funded in part by the fee paid by patrons. However, their primary source of funds comes from a trust. They do a most phenomenal job at what they do. You can read more about this very special organization here.

But, I digress…… It was a very drizzly, cold, miserable day. I stood in line outside the Team van with several other soggy, wet, and very nervous kitty parents waiting my turn to register my little beast for her surgery. As animal parents do, we all chatted about our loving little ones – most are “rescue” animals. In this manner, the time passed much more pleasantly than it might have otherwise. And of course, we praised each others “kids” and billed and coo'-ed over how precious and lovely each was!

Too soon, it was my turn. I left the poor, confused little girl and went about my day. I was to pick her up between 3:30 and 4 that afternoon. At 3:30, I hurried back and took my place in line. I ran a bit late so did not see any of my friends from the morning. When I got in this line, I was about 3 from the door. In front of the door was a trap waiting a feral feline with a can of food. Just before it came to be my turn, a woman got in line behind me. Again, as parents are wont to do, we began a discussion… and I found out that this woman had been feeding feral cats where she worked for about 30 years. She did this for 20+ years before she realized the population had grown monstrously and uncontrollably. And she began, at her own expense, to trap them one by one and have them neutered. Over the last few years, she has gotten almost all of them in the area. As they are neutered/spayed, the top of one ear is clipped so anyone coming behind will know that that animal has already been cared for. She has done this alone and with no help from any organization or people. She has done this out of her own love for cats. She has also taken many of these animals in. Currently, there are 7 in residence with her.  How wonderful a thing for someone to think to do!

On a slightly different note……  I have noticed recently that when I have gone to fast food places, the staff seems to be cheerful. This is strange.

I have seen OVERLY cheerful… which is usually the result of some corporate idiot trying to make pleasant robots out of people – the end result of which is, at least for me, abject disgust. I much prefer to have a person speak to me as they would as opposed to reading from or having memorized some polite script.

This is different….. this is HONESTLY cheerful.

Has anyone else noticed this? Or is it perhaps just me?

that things were getting better……… Give ya a hint….if you are reading this hoping for a happy post, stop here. LEAVE. Fly away! Do NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This one is anything but amusing.

Lets start back in …..um, say – October. Or maybe September…. yes, right around that time, the stock market really started to gain steam in its downhill roll…. Well, the mans world came tumbling down – literally. The retirement he worked many years for is now gone. No… not in stocks that tanked but might come back again – really gone. In December, he found another job and worked there about 3 weeks. Lets just say that the company and the man mutually agreed that they were not suited to each other. Since then, his emotional status – and its accompanying mental status – have gone directly downhill…  there was a short stop on the downhill spiral in January with a therapist and a psychiatrist but, one cannot be helped if they do not want the help. Around the same time, he began to feel he had some physical issues. He ceased to eat, fearing that if he ate – well…….. I won’t go into detail here. He lost around 35 lbs in 6 weeks. And – no, it really wasn’t anything else – you see – he never left the house. Not ever.  He had many tests – the physicians have spoken to me and assured me that everything is fine – they no longer wish to talk to him. He no longer goes out. He no longer picks up the phone to talk to anyone. He occasionally talks to himself. However, if he chooses to talk, he is completely lucid and intelligent. This, my friends, is unchecked depression. He sits all day and does absolutely nothing. I would have a very hard time imagining that except that I live with it. He is never far from my side for very long. And when he is here, he is not. He knows better than anyone what the floor, the walls and the ceiling look like. He stares at them all day. This has dragged on now for 3 months. It has been three very very long months. At first I encouraged and cajoled….. then I got angry – almost rude.  Now, I act like he is not in the house…… I do what I must here, but then I leave. There are few days that I stay home when I am not working…… I can’t. It is far too depressing.

Somewhere near the end of March, the fun started. Towards the end I think……….  I saw my son off to his fathers. His father was not happy because the girl-child insisted on staying home – at this point, I can’t remember why. Boy child really did not want to go either. He was depressed and unhappy. He began texting me around 5 minutes after they left. I kept up a steady dialog with him till I fell asleep. Saturday night, he began to text me again – this time telling me that he was having difficulty breathing. Not being there, I asked him a few pertinent questions which he answered. Of course, being a bit distracted by work and this person next to me intent on memorizing every ridge in the floor – I completely forgot that this is the child who DOWNPLAYS everything…. and that one usually needs to take his answers and double them to get the truth. But, he told me he would be ok…  And I (foolishly) thought that I could trust the father – who is also an asthmatic – to know when there was a REAL problem. Sunday, number 1 son texts me again – and says “I need a breathing treatment right now”. And the alarm bells went off. I called the pediatrician who told us to go to the Childrens Hospital – which we did.

Upon arriving there, I could find no place to park – so I pulled into the semi-circle in front of the actual hospital, grabbed my son and began walking in the door. A man who did not speak English well – but worked for the Parking concession – came at me talking and pointing – and I immediately began to YELL (yes – really – YELL!) back at him that I was LEAVING my DAMN car RIGHT where it was because my son NEEDED EMERGENCY CARE NOW!!!!!!!!!!! and……..then….it dawned on me what this poor man was trying to tell me…. I have since apologized to him SEVERAL times!!!!!! And I bless him for his kindness and his patience with an ornery mother. He was trying to tell me that the EMERGENCY room was in the OPPOSITE direction from the one I was dragging my son!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, I am going to stop here for a “plug” of sorts. I spent a LOT of time at this hospital as a child…. and some more as a volunteer and have avoided being on the wrong side of the needle (so to speak) all my adult life because I felt that the care all those years ago was not what it should be. I must step right up to the plate and tell you that I would not want my child ANYWHERE else! Yale Children’s Hospital in New Haven was just AMAZING!!!!!!!!!! We walked into the ER – the guard directed us to Triage – I said two words, “Asthma Attack” and from that point on, the staff was just completely amazing! The triage nurse was triaging him and getting him set up with the first treatment and a room at the same time. He was not in that ER 3 minutes and they had the first of 3 breathing treatments going. Each one was done at the appropriate time. We saw two doctors and several nurses inside of 3 hours – and he was admitted and in his room within 5. The staff doctors were in the room taking history and discussing treatment with us 15 minutes from our arrival. The healthcare decisions were made by a TEAM that included the respiratory therapist. Nurses and nursing assistants were in and out – constantly. AND – my BIG thing – there was a daybed and linens there – FOR ME! They actually EXPECT a parent to stay with their child! AND Parents and grandparents are WELCOME 24 X 7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  My son was also happy – very happy – that I was with him all the time!. Well….except for those times he kicked me out so he could take care of some personal matters……. he was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and an IV so he could not use the facilities. 

The floor he was on had a parents room complete with a computer – WITH internet access, a refrigerator, coffee maker, couch, table, piano, and all the coffee-tea-sugar-cups kind of stuff you could want.  The play area for the kids was HUGE and included a large craft area and drawing table. There was also an outdoor rooftop play area – with a plexiglass wall that was curved inward – so it could NOT be climbed over. There were two small libraries – one for the pre-school set and one for the school-age set with clearly marked groupings of books (by age).  This was NOTHING like the hospital I had been in 40 years ago!!!!!!!!! I realize everyone has bad days but – apparently – they did NOT have them while we were there because everyone was very kind and cheerful! My son was there two days – discharged on Tuesday afternoon…. He began his spring vacation that Thursday – so I kept him home Weds and Thurs.

While I am giving out accolades – I must also give kudos to my temporary interim team lead. I sincerely wish that he was not temporary! I explained that I had to leave Sunday and why – and he just about shooed me out. I also got steady texts from him asking about my son and how he was. Not ONCE did he ever ask one work related question or bring up any issues – all were handled.  For the moment at least, I am lucky in this respect.

Now… I must go back to the first day – Monday. I came home for a short bit. I thought that I would take a quick shower, take my daughter to school, and then go back to the hospital…. I came home, after calling the school and letting them know what was going on, I turned on my work machine to put an away message on my email. The man is on the bed counting holes in the popcorned ceiling. He says to me, ‘What can I do to help?” And (stupidly) I think – “Oh..this is good”. So, I say, “Well, nothing much really – if you just stay on top of the dishes, maybe finish up the 2 loads of clothes in the washer and dryer, and feed the animals – that is all that needs doing.” From the bed comes the response, “I don’t think I can manage this whole house by myself.”  Now, I’m not sure how washing a few knives, forks, spoons and bowls, doing 2 loads of clothes and feeding 6 animals became “MANAGING” an “ENTIRE” house…… but, i bit my tongue and went downstairs. He followed. As I am DOING THE DISHES, he looks at the cat food cans on the counter and says, “Ther isn’t much cat food.” there is smoke coming out of my ears and my tongue is now bleeding…….  then he opens the refrigerator and, looking at 2 large cartons of lactaid, a meat keeper full of lunch meats and cheeses, and leftovers from the last two nights dinners,  says, “There is no food in the house”. I left. I RAN out the house………. RAN. Ranting and raving and hitting the roof of my poor car… And bought cat food enough to last the week, several drinks, and tv dinners. Got home, unpacked, finished the dishes, finished the laundry, fed the cats, fed the rabbit, cleaned the cat boxes and the rabbit cage, took my daughter to school, took a shower and SLAMMED THE DOOR………….. 

Now, you would think this would be enough…………. but, no – there is more……..

On Sunday night, the father comes up to see number one son – and wait for his girlfriend to get off work.  And I happen to see a gold band on the 3rd finger left hand………so, of course I ask, “Is that a wedding band? Did you get married?” He says, “Uh, er. ah..han .heowir. ring. no – found it, ah. no, ah uh- its a – its johns ring – yeah he gave it to me”. Uh huh ……… right……..  Well, the grilfriend works nearby…. so, she stopped up to see number one son… and I happen to notice a HUGE, BEAUTIFUL wedding band, engagement ring combination on her finger…………. 3rd finger left hand. Um….  I did not fall off a turnip truck and I do math VERY well… 1 + 1 ALWAYS equals 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  So, I start texting number 1 daughter and talking to number 1 son…. Well – yes, they ARE married. and they went to Florida to be with her family to have the wedding and NEITHER CHILD WAS EVEN SO MUCH AS TOLD – nevermind ASKED for their opinion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Being not stupid children, of course, they figured it out. But, neither she nor he every actually TOLD them…….

So, then comes Friday. And number one son, now breathing much better,  is wandering from house to house with friends… Number 1 daughter goes to a concert with friends. And the man – MIRACULOUSLY – decides to go with some friends. The sun is setting and I hear a very noisy car pull up in front of my house…….. and then I hear my name called………. I go down the stairs and find my barely-headed son, very obviously on some sort of depressant or two or three, with a friends father. Who explained to me all that he saw and knew. It was not pretty. I spent a few hours walking my son around and keeping him talking – despite his protests – and walking – also despite his protests… And finally poured him into bed around 1am… and was up checking on him several times…….. He slept that night – and most of the next day and night……. finally awakening Sunday morning  - waking just in time to go to Nonnies house for Easter. Needless to say – he is grounded for the foreseeable future. If keeping him close is the only way that I can keep him safe, then close it will be!

Even my mother said to me the other day that she did not need to watch soap operas – all she needed was to catch up on my life!

Sadly, she is right……..

I stayed home and cleaned……  while the man watched… or stared at the floor………….

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Since I bought my camera almost a year ago, I have been just dying to take it into Manhattan and wander around taking shots all day but between work and the demands of home, till now, I just have had no opportunity.

Well, this weekend, opportunity came POUNDING on my door! It was warm and sunny. I was not on call, not anyones backup on call, and no work. Sunday dawned and I charged up both batteries, cleaned up all the lenses and filters, tried to compact everything I would need into one backpack style pocketbook, two jeans pockets, and one lens carrier - canister style. Out the door by 10:30 and got behind one of those "Sunday drivers" - on SUNDAY of all days - gee.........whoda thunk? :D Missed the 10:42 but caught the 11:05 and got into the city shortly after 1pm.  Train was crowded..... even on Sunday. I always take the train 1 stop out of its starting station because the town is much safer to come back into after dark - especially if I am alone  - than New Haven.

So.... I started out in Grand Central. Now - the first time I saw Grand Central Station was in 1977 - and she was ANYTHING but "Grand". Soot stained the ceilings and windows pitch black. In the center, was a Chemical Bank - quite a big bank in New York at that time. This was the upper level. The lower level had only The Oyster Bar and an ENORMOUS, cavernous, dimly lit room with the train track entries off to one side..... much was gated off and locked and far from safe. Mostly, one prayed ones train came in and left from the upper level. The exit doors then had the beetle-wing varnish darkened from age and smoke. You see, when Grand Central Station was originally built, the trains that came in and out of it were coal-and steam fired. Thus the smoke....... and the coal residue which was over much of the station. In addition, cigarette smoking was very common and popular in the stations heyday in the 1930's thru the 1950's - this added tar and nicotine to the dark staining of the ceiling and walls. In one of our first excursions to Manhattan in our days as friends, the man and I had the fortune to meet a gentleman who was involved in the restoration of the station that took place in the early to mid-1990's. Jacqueline Kennedy-Onassis was heavily involved in first the fight to save the station and then to restore it. She was instrumental in finding the marble that exactly matched the original marble in order to build the staircase (where the original Chemical Bank stood) to the lower level. I wish that i had taken pictures during the 70's and early 80's so that I could produce "before" and "after" - but, alas - hindsight is always 20-20.

Here are some pictures to show you what Grand Central Terminal looks like today:

And now...........let me take you through Manhattan....

First, I stepped outside of Grand Central and looked up and down 42nd street....and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a store - and I would just bet it belongs to the family of Stuart Little. What do you think?

Up 42nd street to I went. And then down 5th towards Central Park.

I took a few detours..... first, to the clocks just got me.

And then I went by and stopped to wonder about this piece of art? I continued on for a bit but then decided that I needed to take a tour of and maybe start Puttin on .

And this, my friends, is how the OTHER HALF lives: Nope.......no kiddin! This is fer real.... right next to

.  No surprises there...

So.....lets talk about art.............. Ok, we're done now.

Trees will grow almost anywhere...........

And friends can be found in the darndest places:

The friends I went looking for, however - were not the ones I found. I did finally find their nest:  

Well, since I'm down this way, guess wandering thru Central Park is a must....so I did.

Well, its getting kinda late so, I'm thinkin I should be heading up 5th and back towards Grand Central and the train home....so, I get a moving -  but I just couldn't resist a stop down this side street: and then a trip thru . While I was making my way a little further up the road, I happened to run into and and - the BEST OF ALL . Of course, what would New York be without a little New York sarcasm... !

Now...one more store for ya... the only one I took a LOT of pictures of:

and here is why:

And of course, what would a trip to the Big Apple be without an

or another self-portrait or a moment of insanity: yep - i did take this one from the MIDDLE of the road and if you've ever been to New York, you will know that the color of the light makes absolutely NO difference to the traffic........

Hope you enjoyed this little sojourn with me. If you'd care for more, the rest of the pictures are posted here: www.flickr.com/photos/ebonywyverndragon

Catch ya next time!

Roaming Dragon

Things often happen that we don't plan. And often do not want. And do not look for.

They happen for a reason. And sometimes, it takes awhile to see that reason and understand it.

It has been a very sad Christmas season in my work group. Less than 50% of us were outsourced - meaning we have jobs. 55% of us were surplussed - which means we do not.

I was among the fortunate few to be outsourced. Thus, my wish to go to work for someone else has been fulfilled - but not in a way that I chose. At first, I was, admittedly very angry about that. This was not MY choice. Now that I think back, perhaps that is why things worked out the way they did - with me being angry enough about my position to accept working for another company - in fact - to pursue it wholeheartedly. This was, perhaps, preparation for this outsourcing.

I did see the writing on the wall - I knew this was coming - although it was not the reason for embarking on a job search. However, I did not see it coming until next year about this time as there was one VERY BIG point which I did not factor into my equation. Once this factor was presented,  I realized that the timing was correct. 

Needless to say, no one in my work group felt very Christmas-y. Our parties were not well-attended. Some just fizzled out completely. One of the worst parts about this is that, as outsourced people, we remain in our jobs. Thus we will be working side by side with the people who have no jobs for the next few months while they desperately search for jobs within and without. The lucky few next to the condemned. Many of whom have small children they must support.

Understanding how businesses run - with fiscal years and reporting divided up into 4 quarters and the end-of-year being December 31, of course all businesses make a made dash for the best finish right at the end of the year. Which makes December the biggest month for layoffs. One would think, with the majority of the world celebrating some sort of spiritual holiday at this time of year, that some caring business owner might have considered moving the end-of-fiscal year to another quarter - thus avoiding the layoffs at a time of year when depression and suicide are NORMALLY at high rates. It seems strange to me that this has never been considered or implemented.

Now, for the good.... Yes there is much good. This was a blessing in disguise. It turns out that I will actually retire from my current company. Thus, I must figure out what to do with my pension. I have, at 50, the ability to use that in many ways. My current situation leaves me going from week to week - paycheck to paycheck - like many. And in debt enough that it is strangling me. When I divorced, I carried the financial burden of that move. As well as starting out with nothing. I took the kids bedroom sets and my kitchen pots and pans and my clothes and personal items. EVERYTHING ELSE I left.  Some things, like couches and chairs, were donated - God bless my good friends with large hearts! Much - dishes, refrigerator, washer, dryer - I needed to purchase. Thus, I have racked up a debt which I am struggling to repay - along with the medical expenses for this year (getting kids into counseling and medicated ........sigh). Turns out that I am allowed to take the medical from the new company - which is significantly more manageable - and, when I truly retire from Corporate America - I will be allowed to return to my former company's medical plan....not good financially - but, ANY medical insurance is better than none at all. The savings from the new companys medical plan will allow me to put some $ into a 401K for the first time.  I will most likely access a portion of the pension in what I believe (yes - I am consulting a tax person first) is a tax-free manner - to be able to give my daughter some money toward her college education. I believe that I will be able to do the same for my son when his turn comes in a few years. Also turns out that I can take a chunk of the pension and repay my debts - leaving me debt free for the first time in many, many years. This, however, will come with a 10% 'early retirement penalty'. But, I believe that will be well worth the penalty for the effects that will have a few years down the road.

Needless to say, this has been a very, very busy and stressful few weeks for all of us! The first two months of the year also promise to be very busy and full of decision making, and I hope, promise?

On the KID front:

Number 1 son is now 14. Doing so-so in school - but, with promise for the New Year. He has not been in treatment for long so it is hoped that continuation with bring about more positive changes.

Number 1 daughter - OHMYGOSH! This mothers heart is just SWELLING with pride! So, she was in Chemistry - and even in treatment, it was just not for her. So, two weeks into the SECOND semester, she switched to Physics. PHYSICS, PEEPS!!!!!!!!! She managed to COMPLETE ALL the work from the first semester AND catch up to all the work from the SECOND semester - and the progress report came home with a B+!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!  She is ON HER WAY to HIGH HONORS! Its what we ALWAYS knew she COULD do, she just needed some help! She has an A- in PreCalc, and A+ in English, Marine Science, and her Independant Study!!!!!!!!!!! This girl is HOT!!!!

I am off to unbury my car from the snowstorm yesterday.

Catch ya later!

Well, peeps, I had my very first interview EVER! Yep....32 years with the same company.... <shakes head> Amazing.... it went, in my opinion, surprisingly well. I will not hear anything one way or the other till Christmas or shortly thereafter. This works out very well for me for a number of reasons, most of which I cannot go into at this time. I will say this much - I will get to use all my vacation from this year. And that is a good thing because I will not have nearly as much vacation time no matter what job I take........that 32 year thing.... So, anyway, I met my potential new boss, my potential co-workers AND the potential CIO! Yessireebob - the CIO! I thought that was pretty cool! All of these people seem very nice.

This will be a very big change for me in many ways. I would go from a very large organization to a very small one. For anyone who has done this - or gone the other way - from small organization to extremely large - you will understand the differences. Further - this is a small, in state, unit. As opposed to the far-flung one I now work in. And teleworking.............well - this organization has only JUST BEGUN to offer that ........ and of course, I would have to go through some sort of time period where I would need to prove myself prior to my being offered that opportunity. And they think that its a good thing to only be called out twice in a month................ Now, THAT philosophy absolutely must change.............. never works for me. And that, really, is a good thing for them because in order to not have call-outs, a system needs to be perfect, you see............ so, its a win-win thing.

For me, this is almost a step back in time............ and very honestly, to a time I liked much better. Instead of being pigeon-holed into one part of a project, these people need to be active in ALL the phases and facets of EVERY project. This is not possible in a large organization. And to actually see my co-workers every day, to know them as people, not a voice on a phone or a person on the rare video conference - that is a very big change! I will also lose some of the flexibility I have now - at least for awhile. That will be a big change for my kids......no more rides to school..........or work. They will have to figure out how to do all that on their own..... this is not a bad thing really. By the time I was my daughters age, I knew how to get wherever I needed to using public transportation. Trains, cabs, busses......... feet.. It will be tough dealing with orthodontist appointments and physicals and counseling appointments. But, other single-parent families do this and we will too........... And these are all 'if"s. None of this may come to pass............

On the photography front: We are now in the 4th week of the "Portfolio" class..... Only this and one more class to go. I will truly miss my class mates... I know one of the women in my class is thinking about taking this class again in February when it is offered.... I may too - just because I really enjoyed it so much! I have 3 portfolios almost complete. I have one for Landscape - which is truly my forte. I have one for Portrait - because I can do it and that is where the money is - but not where my heart is....... And one for Product Photography....... which I can also do very well. I have promised myself to apply for the very next opportunity that I see. I have thrown away two possibilities because I was unsure of my ability.... the next one, I'm just going to go for.  For legal reasons, I cannot display either the product or portrait examples - however, for any Landscape examples, please visit: www.flickr.com/photos/ebonywyverndragon Feel free to leave comments or suggestions. (Yes - really - suggestions are ALWAYS welcome! )

The man is working once more. At a job he truly abhors. It is sad......... he has rather backed himself into a corner where he now has no choice but to work. And he goes each day as he should - and hates it more and more. This, of course, is taking its toll on us.... because when one thing in ones life is very bad - it usually shows in ALL areas....... He complains about everything and nothing makes him happy. He knows what he must do to change that but he is simply not ready..........sigh..... I am trying, very gently, to show him how to make lemonade when life hands you lemons but he just is not quite ready to learn that yet.......... But, he is 7 months completely clean Saturday - and that is a WONDERFUL thing!

The kids are doing MUCH better. She is definitely bi-polar. Currently has meds for that and is getting therapy and counseling and is VERY successful in school and working very hard at it. She dropped chemistry.... and went into PHYSICS of all things! And she LOVES IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (insert mother with dumbfounded expression on face here).  She started talking to me in "physics-geek" the other day.... boy did I feel REALLY REALLY DUMB!!!!!!!!!! She has decided that she will go to the local community college for 2 years after high school. This will give her a good foundation for little money - and guarantee her entry into the state university of her choice when she is ready. AND - it will keep my baby at home for two more years.......... (pan to cartoon of mother with sappy dreamy expression and hearts circling her head). She has also been prone to helping around the house more. I asked her to do the bathroom.....it was done in HER time, not mine - but, I only needed to ask her ONCE....instead of hounding and hounding. Same with the dishes. She isn't quite to the point where she is volunteering - but, that is ok.

He is a bit more prone to arguing with me than he was - however, he is bringing me home good grades....and yes - i am seeing ALL of them. He definitely has the desire to do well in school. And he is positive and upbeat - which makes him very good company. He will also pretty much to anything I ask him to as far as helping me around the house - and I really do appreciate that! He will be 14 a week from today - my little man is not so little any more. But, he still hugs his mom....and I LOVE that!

Yes, I am singing this Christmas Eve. I am very excited! Have not seen my choir friends since last summer. Have not sung since last summer.....(been snapping pictures!) My girlfriend and I may sing with another group at the local Veterans Administration Hospital. If I have time..........with working this weekend, and Number 1 Son's birthday, I don't know.............. I shall have to see if I can take pictures of the Choir at Christmas........ If I can and IF they give me permission - I will post them.

I have been visiting all of you as time permits - often that is not more than once a week. But I do get out when I can - and it is good to read of all your lives!

Please take care of yourselves until we meet again.

Blessed Christmas wishes to all.

May the Peace and Joy and Love of the Season be shared with all of you and your families.

Dragon

I know...........I been missing awhile............ Thats cuz there is STUFF goin on! Really....

The highlights:

I got some very disappointing news at work about some of my duties to come. So, regretfully, I have chosen not to continue with this company I have been with for 32 years. I am retirement and pension-eligible. So....I have done much research and decided to prep the resume and start hunting. Obviously - this is a very new experience for me - never wrote a cover letter in my life. Never really wrote an external resume..... T'was tough, peeps.....the one thing I'm really horrible at? Selling.......... and even WORSE - trying to sell ME......... Fortunately, my girlfriend of 20+ years who has rewritten hers several times and actually read some and hired some reviewed and helped me 'spiffy' it up! So.......... I'm out there. I'm in a good position as I can take my time looking. I don't need to have something immediately and I can also take less of a salary if necessary as I will have my pension to supplement. It was a very tough decision. I truly enjoy the people I work both with and for. And, other than the tremendous number of hours, I don't mind the job at all - I rather like it, actually. But - what will surely come next April as the sun rises in the East - and the executive decision made about what I will be doing at that time.......... well - its just too much for this old dog. So - on Tuesday, I submitted my resume for the first time - and, of course - was rejected - by a COMPUTER of all things! Oh well............. I'll just keep at it till they find me!

Number 1 daughter has been in therapy for quite some time now - and is finally on medication. Amazing...... she rather explained to both my mother and myself what has been wrong with us all these years - we - all THREE of us - have ADD!!!!!!!! Which is what makes us very good multi-taskers - but completely unable to focus on just one thing at a time and easily (very very very easily) distracted! Mom and I are old - so, we've figured out how to manage this without meds - but, Number 1 daughter is just starting out...............  After three weeks - and an adjustment or two (with probably more to come) - she is MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Imagine how much more Mom and I could have potentially achieved in our lives had we had such treatment!

Number 1 son has an appointment to see another therapist for his potential ADHD (he has they 'hyper' thing too - probably from his dad) next Wednesday. I am hopeful. He has done significantly better this year in school so far - but its getting harder........ and I can see that in his marks..... they were A's, B's and C's at progress report time. At report card time - they were B's and C's - no A's.... He really IS trying though! And he has no missing assignments so giving him time to 'play' after school and having him do his homework after supper is working well. Soccer was wonderful for him. He LOVED it - he knows that he is not particularly good at it (so do I) but he LOVES it - and THAT is the point! Its good for him to be involved in a sport!

My photography experience! We have finished the Advanced class. Next week we go on to Portfolio - learning how to build one and get started in the business. I have seen a few short-term jobs on Craigslist.............just haven't been brave enough to go for 'em yet but..... I'm almost there. A few weeks ago, I met a fellow photographer out early on the beach. He was trying to photograph my footprints - and I was doing my product photography assignment - which I had a BLAST with! I thought I wanted to do landscapes but, product photography can be fun too! I can do portrait photography but that just doesn't quite do it for me the way landscapes do...

This past Sunday, I made it out to Charles Island off the coast of Milford. It was a rocky and treacherous walk going out. There is approximately a 2 hour window - about 1/2 before low tide and about 1.5 hours after - where the sandbar is uncovered enough to walk out there. One is not supposed to climb up the hill from the shore and enter the wooded area but..........with all the holes in the fences (and the fact that it is past nesting season which is the reason for the fence), I found I could not resist! I walked quite a ways into the woods and startled a white-tailed deer...... ok, not one.... SIX! And dope that I am - I figured that was it after the one - so I never got the camera adjusted and didn't catch the other 5 that bolted! AAARGH! They were beautiful to see though! I did get some nice shots:

The man started a new job at a call center for a laboratory concern. So far, he is overwhelmed....... this is a good thing. He will, at least, remain interested until he is no longer overwhelmed...........

And then there is my new helper:

And the purveyor of fine carnage:

So...thats it for now, peeps..... Its almost HOLIDAY SEASON so I really can't say when I'll make it back! Surely before Christmas ... just can't say for sure HOW much before Christmas. So - if I'm not checkin back before Thanksgiving - Hope ya'all have the most STUPENDOUS TuRkeY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hugs and kisses to all!

Dragon

The Photo Meme

A) Answer the questions below, do a Google Image search with your answer, take a picture from the first page of results, and do it with minimal words of explanation. B) Tag 5 other people to do the same once you’ve finished answering every question.

1) Age you will be on your next birthday.

2) A place you want to travel.

3) your favorite place.

4) your favorite food.

5) Favorite pet.

6) Favorite color combination.

7) Favorite piece of clothing.

8) Favorite tv show.

9) First name of your significant other.

10) Town in which you live.

11) Your first job.

12) your dream job.

13) A bad habit you have.

14) your worst fear.

15) What you'd like to do before you die.

Hypothetical situation: You are Mr. Paulson. You have a financial mess in your country. By the way - just to make things interesting, the rest of the world is in the same financial mess....

So, you have a few dollars to spread around and lots of places to put it............. What are you going to do with it?

Feel free to write a tome.......I am interested in anything anyone might have to say!

So, four weeks into this photography class and I've learned to do things manually and I'm still having a BLAST! I had no idea how much I had learned till last night....

First - we had two people come in that we were to do portraits of. The instructor gave us the person, the lighting and said - ok - YOU figure out what settings you need. I thought about it for a bit, finagled with the dials and buttons and came up with my best guess. I was off by 1 f-stop.

Then we had a pop quiz. With 5 questions. And I sat there and drew a complete blank.............. so, I think, I'll just answer the few that I know and oh well for the rest. And then I started writing............ and writing.............and writing............ and my classmates are leaving and I'm still writing and writing............and I finally finished. Dead last. But, what I realized is that I have actually soaked up everything I've been taught and then some....... Which is why I was writing a tome........... because I had learned so much that the answers COULD NOT be one sentence answers  (to me).

I felt really good when I left last night.

Macro photography.

High speed photography.

I am now a "Soccer Mom"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

                        Oh yeah......I know the pictures are a tad blurry.......These are only the second set of pictures that I did completely manually.  What a lot I have to learn!
Photographic Dragon

Oh yes I am!!

VERY!!!!!!!!!

Last week, I signed up for my very first class in YEARS!!!! I am taking Digital Photography basic and advanced at the local community college. I start tonite and I am SOOOOOOO excited! Now I get to find out what I'm doing wrong and learn how to do it right! YAY!! Perhaps, in my next life, I shall be a photographer?  Tough way to make a living I understand..........

Children update.....

Number 1 daughter began counseling last week. The counselor seemed very interested in her and felt he could help. And she was VERY honest with him. This is a good thing. She held NOTHING back. And he, while not young, is obviously in touch with kids because I couldn't follow a lot of what she said - but he definitely did. This is a good thing.

She is also back in school - and so far, so good.............of course, we are only 1 week into it but.............

She will also be home from her dads in two weeks - a decision that was made with both her dad and I conferring.

Number 1 son has joined the school soccer team. I am TRULY excited about that! We go to practice twice a week and for two hours - this sedentary, non-athletic child is running around like mad! And he is having a BLAST! He actually LOVES it! His first game is Monday - Sep 22!  Mother Dragon will definitely be there cheering Number 1 son on!

He is also making a sincere effort to do his schoolwork. I have changed our 'schedule' this year. For all these years, I always said they had to do their homework first. When it was done, they were free to go do what they wanted. This has resulted, over the years, in him rushing through homework or not doing it at all. This year, I have said that he is free from the time he gets home till 5:00. Period. Then, either we go to soccer practice or we have dinner. After either of these things is homework time. Now, you would think that by the time dinner and/or soccer are over, he would be tired and the homework would STILL be sloppy or not done at all...and for kids who are creatures of the day - this is true. My children, however, are part vampire......or cat.... they wake up when the sun goes down! So far - and he has been back to school almost 3 weeks - this schedule is working out very well. He gets the nicer part of the day to be with his friends and when he does sit down to do the homework, he knows he has no reason to rush through it as he is not going anywhere after - he is home for the night.

Yesterday, I went to see my new doctor for the first time. When I pay the last of the old bill, I am firing my old doctor. The final straw was being dragged in and charged for an office visit for a simple 10 question form. This form could have been filled out by anyone in her office in under 10 minutes. (Can patient sit for 10 hours? Y/N  Can patient stand for 10 hours? Y/N. Kneel? Lift? How much weight? Keyboard?   ........... yep - folks, it really was THIS simple! No 'why's. No 'wherefore's..... no justifications.) This is not the first time that I have been dragged in and charged for an office visit for something that should not have been an office visit. This is, as far as I'm concerned, simple greed. And I'm not going to stand for this nonsense. First, I  do not have the time. Second, I'm not going to subsidize her new BMW at the expense of something my children might need or want. So, I have been annoying by paying a small bill in even smaller increments and the final installment next month will be paid and a letter enclosed explaining why I will no longer be seeing her. That last office visit, I saw the PA and we had a very lengthy discussion on this. I aired my feelings politely- he aired his politely. We disagreed completely. So, I'm all done with this doctor. Sad too because I have been with her for a very long time and genuinely like her as a practitoner. But I will not tolerate the business practices.

So - anyway - I went to see the Man's doctor. And a jolly soul is he! His good humour reflects in his office staff - all of whom have  a ready smile! I think I like this man. He seems very intelligent and very willing to accept the intelligence of his patients  - in other words, he spoke with me like a participant in my own care as opposed to acting like a demi-god. This is a good thing. He also gave me some medicine to try for my RLS. The man and I have not shared a bed in over a month - other than our trip to Misquamicut - because I have RLS and PLMD - which I have largely ignored for many years - but, when I spent the nights kicking him, it was a bit much. I tried a few things over the last month - but nothing has really worked well. I tried this new medication last night ........ it seems to work pretty well! I'm a little groggy this morning but, I definitely slept like  a LOG last night!

Alrighty! - that's all the wonderful news for the moment. I shall try to pop back and let you all know how class was!

In recent weeks, I have had a few MSN Friend requests. These have been from people who have their spaces marked as private. At first, I was sending email messages to these people asking who they were. I got no response to these requests. So, I now feel this post is a necessary evil. And I have seen more than one person who has felt the same.

I understand the concept of "Friends" on "Myspace" - I have one - and have had one for many years. Its rather a collection of people.... no real purpose in many cases....just to collect the greatest number of "Friends". And that works for Myspace. And it works for the plethora of younger people that have "Myspace"s.

It does not work for me.

Please don't ask me to be your friend if I do not know anything about you and - worse - CANNOT FIND OUT anything  about you. If you choose to be private - wonderful - I can respect that - but, don't bother with the friend request. I choose my friends here on MSN Spaces with as much care as I choose all my friends. I need to know who you are. I need to know SOMETHING about you. There should be some interest or interests in common. I am not now, nor will I ever be, in the habit of simply "collecting" friends.

If I can't find out anything about you and I do not know you - you WILL be declined.

Thanks.

Now - for all you peeps out there who really ARE my friends - here's the update from the War Zone.

Yep - War Zone.

Its been a really rough summer peeps. Remember I told you that Number 1 Son was retained in 7th grade? Well..... I found out why. While I was working my butt off to keep the proverbial roof over his head - he was out having a party. I missed ALL the evidence. Every bit of it. I knew he smoked cigarettes and that he found it hard to give them up - did not realize he was putting more than tobacco in his lungs and energy drinks in his mouth........... So, we had an incident early on........Number 1 son came home with some knives that his father gave him - decorative ones. Shortly thereafter, the Man found knife holes - deep ones - in the door of our refrigerator. Thankfully not so deep that we needed another refrigerator - but deep enough that we knew someone had made those holes with some physical strength behind it. Number 1 son was subsequently sent to live with his father with no specific date to return home. And in fact, he spent the entire summer there. Father figure may not be the best in the world - but he CAN discipline and he CAN keep better surveillance than I can. He is NOT nearly as trusting as I am.

So the summer went.......... and the Man, having given up all unnecessary medication of all kinds, successfully made 3 - and now, almost 4 months - for which I am very very proud of him. HOWEVER............. it has taken its toll on our relationship............. this is not quite the same person that I knew for years. The removal of SOME substances was a good thing. I'm not so certain that the removal of ALL mood and mind-altering substances was a good thing......... Unfortunately, this has led to some very turbulent times in this dragons house.

And then .............. the Coupe de Grass............(yep - deliberate mis-spelling there!)........ Number 1 daughter has been seeing a young man for about a year......and he is just NOT GOOD FOR HER. He has some serious issues - not the least of which is that he spends his entire life skating (skateboard). Now this would be fine if he were being paid for it.....but he isn't. And he is also into all those wonderful things he shouldn't be. No high school education. Cannot hold down a job. No GED. No car. No license. and he is almost 20...... They have broken up multitudinous times............and gotten back together. Well, the worst breakup was this summer.... and after a few weeks, she began to see this nice young man who was college bound in the fall, who had a good job, who had managed to save up and pay for a used BMW. Now, 4000$ is not a whole lot of money really - but at 18, that represents SIGNIFICANT effort to work and save. He took her out to dinner and movies - HIS TREAT. He bought her birthday presents. He treated her like a queen! So, here sits MotherHenDragon thinking that at least ONE of her chicklets has straightened out..... We attended a college prep seminar and we seriously discussed all the 'How's of getting her to college and what colleges she was interested in.............. 

And the the man and I went on a short overnight vacation. The first one we've had. With Number 1 son securely with his father, I thought I ensured that Number 1 daughter was with her girlfriend (another who was entering college in the fall and seemed very "straight edge"). And we went and completely enjoyed ourselves. I checked in with Number 1 daughter a few times and all seemed well........

And then we came home.

And all seemed well.

Until I went out into the yard the next day and picked up ........................................................

a beer can.......................and the ripped edge of a package of rolling papers. And went upstairs and found the pop top to a smirnoff ice bottle. and looked under the couch and found computer desk cleaner - compressed air - what HAD been a full can when we left. And looked in her room and found yet another beer can......

There was more - but, I believe that is enough to give you the picture.

Needless to say, Number 1 daughter is now staying with Father. We have an appointment to begin counseling on Tuesday.

Its been a rough summer.

That cabin in the deep woods far off the beaten path in Nova Scotia with only cats, horses, dogs, and rabbits for company is sounding better and better.

Anyway - I shall leave you with just a few of the pictures from vacation:

Scottish Peace started me to thinking............and then I picked up the book "Chicken Soup for the Soul" and I thought some more....

I am at war with myself.

Are you?

Part of me realizes that the only way the human race will survive is for all of us to learn to work together. I know that this will require everyone to treat each other as neighbors, as friends. I know that this will require all boundaries be erased - that everyone be allowed to roam freely across this planet we call home. I know our survival depends on us learning to accept diversity. To live with a diametrically opposing culture right next door comfortably. I know, too, that these principals are a long way from being reality.

We need to accept that we can solve problems without violence. How's that for one heck of a concept? Most of us can't co-exist peacefully with our families..........people who are much like us. How are we ever going to get to the point where we can co-exist with ANYONE no matter how disparate they are? How can we accept the right of our neighbors to BE our neighbors when we are ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that our neighbors should only be people just like us? How can we accept the right of our neighbors to practice Kabala or Judaism or Catholicism when we are ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that whatever WE practice is the ONLY right way? How can we accept that our neighbor drinks alcohol or is a vegan when we are CERTAIN beyond the SHADOW of a doubt that not drinking or eating of once-living things is the only way to live? And that all other ways are just "stupid", or "false", or "dumb".....

We need a world banking system or bartering system. I apologize to all of you who trade in dollars and yens - but, we do. One currency. One value. Everyone trades in it. Level the playing field. My widget should not be worth any more or less depending on where I sell it. If I sell it in France, I should get the same amount of currency as I get selling it in the US, or China, or Nigeria. It should cost the same to make too - regardless of where I make it. Because my labor costs the same whether my plant is in India or Brazil or the US. 

One government. For everyone. With only one rule. To treat all as human beings should be treated - with love, compassion and respect. Completely equal rights. No one group of people should be more equal than any other. No quotas of having so many of one and so many of another. The best person for the job gets the job, period. If that person is an African-American female - great. If that person is an Asian male - great. Whichever is better suited for the job at hand. We all  have our skill sets. And no matter how good we are, someone is always better. Deal with it.

Healthcare and the basic necessities for all. That means a place to live, a bed to sleep in, and food to eat. The necessities. Money should not determine who lives and who dies, who has a roof over their heads and who shivers on the street, who suffers from malnutrition and who has more than enough to fill their bellies and have leftovers. Doctors, nurses, radiographers, physicians assistants, nurse practitioners..........if you all are NOT in your field because you have a calling to be there - a real concern for the health of others - then WHY ARE YOU THERE? If its just the money - you need to find another profession. Get over it. 

Oh - yes, and EVERYONE works. At something. No free rides. Just because you are continually sad or missing a leg or an eye or have back trouble or ataxia - doesn't mean you can't do SOMETHING.  If you want to have personal possessions - jewelry, car, computer, stereo - the finer things in life - you WORK for them. At whatever you are capable of. If you can get up and make coffee in the morning for yourself, then you can make coffee for others. If you can log onto a computer, you can do data entry. You can visit with someone who needs a visitor.  If you do not learn well, you can learn to use a shovel to build a foundation or chauffeur someone to a destination or you can learn to vacuum a rug.

And my final point (I can hear you all groaning now) - we need to abolish borders. I think, to most of us, this is about the most abhorrent thing I could have said. We have so very many illegal aliens here sponging off our largesse that the thought of NOT having respected borders leaves a very bad taste in our mouths. They come to our country by boat, by walking, by driving, by swimming. Some come here legally temporarily, build a life here and let their "temporary" expire without "re-upping". They give birth in our hospitals at our expense and we HAVE to take care of their children because our laws state that if you are born here, you are an American citizen. They work under the table and pay no taxes. They can go on social security but never have to pay into it.

And here is where I war with myself.............Why should I pay for someone to have a baby here when I can't afford to have one myself? Why should I pay for that child to have an education and food when my sons and daughters are eating pasta because that is what we can afford. Why should my tax dollars go to clothe the child of a person who does not pay taxes here when my child is in patched up jeans and sneakers with holes in them? Why should I support that persons fuel bill when I know that I will not be able to keep up with my fuel bill this winter? If we just put stronger border controls in place............If we brought our boys home from Afghanistan and Iraq and Iran and Germany and Japan and Russia and all the other places we have them stationed, and put them to work as border guards........ If, instead of (inhumanely) "detaining" these people, we just put them on ferry boats or planes WITH their children born here and sent them back to wherever they came from - would we not, then, have more for our country? Wouldn't we? Take care of our house first. Get the U.S. in order and fix OUR troubles before we reach out to help others.  More for us.......less for THEM......... You can't have it - its MINE! I'm gonna take my toys and go HOME! NYAH. And we shut our doors.And our hearts. And our minds.

Children are taught from early on to share. And they are also taught to protect what is theirs............ How confusing is that? So, we grow up to be confused adults. Who can share SOMETIMES. But other times, we want the whole pie all to ourselves. For us. For our kids. For our community. For our country........ ALL FOR ME, NONE FOR YOU.

So...........how will this war end? I don't know. My heart goes both ways. Because, I am the confused adult who was taught to share but was also taught to protect what is mine and to do for my own........... and I know that, worldwide, this conflict will not end in my lifetime. It will not end in my children's or their children's lifetimes. So, I am torn. What do I believe in?  Do I stand for all illegal aliens being deported regardless of the circumstances? Do I stand against a woman coming here to give birth because she knows her child will have a better life here than wherever she is from? As a parent, would I do any different for my child? Or do I stand for these people being able to 'freeload' off my hard-earned tax dollars?

I do not know the answer............

The Jade and Ebony Dragons met for the first time.

First a most wonderful dinner of chicken and lamb at a fine local irish pub. then a photographic expedition on the beach (sadly, we were chased off quickly by hordes of biting flies!) and finally decadent dessert at the ice cream shoppe....

A good time was had by all and we suspect that this event will be repeated - perhaps even with a third dragon in tow!

Today, I shall take a large step in sharing something publicly that I have not shared publicly in many, many years. Some of you may never come back here. Others - my friends, I know, wil just accept. And this sharing, perhaps, will give some of you some understanding of why I appear to be more tolerant of the man's prior antics that, perhaps, I should be.

Take with me now, a trip down memory lane to a time long ago and far away.........

Many years ago - I was actually a wild and crazy .......... well.....girl. This included many parties - so to speak..... Late nights out and early breakfasts. At that time, bars closed at 2am here - and nightclubs had the "extra hour" and closed at 3am. Breakfast run started at 3:30am....

Now, there are a whole lotta people who do this. And most have fun, learn a few lessons about hangovers the hard way, and move on. They grow up to be responsible adults who know how to have one or two or three ON OCCASION and then STOP.

And there are those of us who attempt to make careers out of this lifestyle.

That was me. The potential career drinker. AKA: Alcoholic. The epitome of "one is too many and one thousand is not enough". There was a time when I could drink most of my associates under the proverbial table - and get up and walk away. And I didn't quite stand 5'2" and weighed in at a whopping 115 soaking wet. Even worse, there was a time when I was actually proud of that ability! I knew more about mixed drinks than most bartenders.

I am fortunate for several reasons.

One - I never lost my faith in a higher power. Not once. Most do. I misplaced it a bit...put it aside and didn't think about it......... but I never actually LOST that belief.

Two - I hit bottom very fast.... it took a whole 3 years of carousing before I ran smack into my wall. When I ran into that wall, I was a mess physically...... very close to dying. Yep - in 3 years, I had managed to make THAT much of a mess of myself. I required my "drug of choice" SIMPLY TO BE "NORMAL" - to function....to get through a day.

Three: I happened to work for a company that considered this a disease and had a whole department dedicated to helping people like me.... and I happened to work directly for someone who had quite a bit of personal experience with this disease - and thus recognized it for what it was in me, and pulled out all the stops to help me when I finally made the move to get well.

and Four: I had family that knew the meaning of "tough love". They walked away when there was nothing they could do. And when I finally made it back, they were the first people there to support me and welcome me back.

When I made that last walk out of the darkness of alcoholism into the sunlight of freedom at last, I was engaged to a man that my parents - and almost anyone else who knew him - did not like.  he was a hard-drinker (of course - what ELSE would I have gotten engaged to at that time) and had a horrible temper...... and I think that he had the same problem I did - but - to accept my disease, would have had to accept his own. I think this is what made him completely unsupportive and belligerent.

I was able to go away, courtesy of my health benefits, to what amounts to a country club - in order to learn how to be a person again. This place - Eagle Hill - so named for the Eagles that made their nests in the rocky outcroppings over a lake near there - was a fairly new place - and run by a priest - a recovering alcoholic himself. I made many friends there - but mostly, I got a start at being the person I am today there. I learned to love life again. I learned to appreciate every single day. I learned that I was worthy of more than I was giving myself. I learned that there is no such thing as a stupid alcoholic.......that the vast majority were good, kind, intelligent people who had a disease. I learned that if we stayed away from the chemical that made us "ill" and supported each other, we could continue to grow as people and live full and productive lives. The people that were there with me - some I remained in touch with for many years after - came from all walks of life - I met a programmer from a large magazine company, I met a manager from the local telephone company, I met a man who had opened his own church, I met a retired accountant. I also met some of the kids who were remanded there by local magistrates...... my room mate was one such.

I remembered how to play basketball. I learned to play pool. I learned to drink LOTS of coffee! And I learned to eat real food again.

When I left after the requisite 30 days - it was filled with the spirit of new adventure...... looking at the world through new eyes! Eyes that were using real glasses instead of the bottom of a Vodka bottle to see! I went back often at first - there was a meeting there for the "graduates" every Tuesday night. And every Tuesday night for almost a year, I went back......but, it was a long drive. And eventually, I stopped.

I had heard that this place had been bought by a "chain" of rehabilitation centers. And time passed.

On this vacation, I had my treasured camera. And the first day, I started off with the idea in mind that I would visit places that I had not seen in this state and snap pictures of natures beauty. So, I headed up towards a state park I knew of but did not remember and snapped a few pictures there. I got back on the highway and thought - "I wonder if I can still find Eagle Hill" - so I got back on the highway and got off the exit I thought I should take. Wrong exit. I realized that after finding a church that we used to go to "off prem". I drove for awhile - and passed over the highway and recognized a diner that I had eaten at on one of my trips up there - and got my bearings. I found the long road that I knew led to where I wanted to go. As I drove the road, there was little that I remembered...... it has been nearly 30 years since I had been there last. But, I kept driving.....and driving and almost passed

The Entrance

The Driveway

The ADMISSIONS house:

The House I Lived In

My Room:

Dining Hall and Common House

It is very hard for me to reconcile these desolate grounds with the pastoral setting of recovery I knew. It is harder still to see the place where I got my start on being a real person abandoned.

An era ended.

The Bird Show

Taking Off                 In Flight                  The Landing

Pretty Bird                 Peacock

A Beautiful Face         Marmoset               Tree Frog

Turtles                    Otters

Our Happy Group         The Kids               Monkey See,

                                                                  Monkey Dew!

 The Man