Just where I’ve been over the past few months………ok – many months!

Well – let me tell ya… so much has happened – and yet, not too much…………. go figure.

Number 1 son was in summer school – the kind that is FUN – not the kind you go to to make up classes you fail. Yet he did not do well. He could have had a credit and a half towards high school science but, he chose to not go or not really participate and thus, only has 1 credit.

He went back to school in the fall and promptly almost got himself arrested as he obtained a bottle of rum and, well – i guess he was thirsty………….?  He spent the next 6 weeks at his fathers.

It seems that was the one that turned him around however. Since then, he has done well in school, been a HUGE help at home, and completely stunned me. After 5 years of complaining about the dress code in his private school (including cutting his hair), he REQUESTED to go to a private high school!!!!!!!!!!!!! We’ll find out just after Christmas whether he is accepted……………  If he is – you may never see me again as I will need a second job to pay for this! But, I will do so GLADLY!

When Number 1 daughter dropped out of the summer program. I decided, after that, that I did not want to take the risk of paying for a semester or two and find out that she could not or would not stick to it. So, I told her that she would have to get a student loan. If she stayed in school and did what she was capable of – then I would assist her in paying the loan off when it came due…..  And so, she did nothing. And the beginning of school came and went…….. So, she skateboarded and sort of looked for a job but mostly skateboarded thru the last 6 months. She was on her meds, then off her meds, then on them then off them.

On October 4, she was supposed to attend a party (unbeknownst to me, of course). For some reason which we shall never know, she chose not to go. Two of her friends went without her. Now, I should mention that one of these friends is also bi-polar. And typical of people with mental health issues that are old enough to decide for themselves what they want to do but not old enough to make sound judgements, he did not often take his meds either. So – we have TWO bi-polar friends whe go thru manic stages frequently at the same time. This makes for gray hairs for me and VERY BAD hair days for her. And so it goes. The day prior to this party, they had one of their manic days together and so were both angry at each other. He gave in first, called to apologize and she refused to accept the apology – thinking, as many do, that there is always tomorrow.

Well – tomorrow came. Without this friend. The two went to the party – left it with impaired judgement. Neither put on a seatbelt. There was some fog and a slight bit of rain – just enough to bring the oils to the surface ……. Two families and countless friends mourn these two lives lost too soon still…..  And my daughter has spent the time since alternately crying and wearing sackcloth and ashes because she did not accept the apology freely given………. 

Death is hard for anyone to deal with under any conditions. She has been seeing our counselor and is somewhat better – but, I believe that this will take a long time……..

Alrighty. And now I shall get to me and the man. First, let me tell you that work has eaten up an incredible amount of time. They have a policy of allowing time off for extra time worked (hour for hour) BUT – the ‘good’ employees don’t get to take it as it MUST be taken in the pay period accrued. So….wait….lets get this straight – i’m on a hot project that is sucking up my time and i’m working tons of overtime but if i want to take the time for my overtime (because, of course, no one gets PAID) then i have to take away from the time i would normally put in to the project that is sucking up my time which means that i must put in MORE time to make up for the time I took …….  Where does this make sense? OH – right – makes perfect sense for the business that now APPEARS to have ''sympathy’ for the overworked employee because you CAN take time off to compensate for overtime ……. but you really can’t. At least not if you a.) wish to occasionally sleep or b.) do a good job. So, ya – thats work. Work hard and you will get  ahead  to keep your job hmmm….. I don’t know – but work hard anyway.

This would be why I began this sabbatical of mine – disappearing from Spaces. I have been on Facebook – it does not require consistent thought and/or a lot of contiguous time.

So…. when I left, the man was pretty close to the door.

He still is.

BUT – he appears to be walking in the right direction – FOR THE MOMENT.

It took a police escort and a two week stay in a hospital to get him there.

And MONTHS of agony.

and heartache.

and anger.

and occasional bouts of arm waving and dissertations.

and stress-induced eczema everywhere

and finally taking an anti-depressant myself.

and sometimes running away to New Jersey to visit my most wonderful friend – who always opened her arms and heart and home to me.

I haven’t started counting chickens yet – the eggs are still spread across lots of baskets.

Thank you to all my friends who have been supportive and caring and compassionate all these months.